Dude, fuck ducks.

I’d known about male ducks’ preferred mating strategy, which is rape, if not gang rape. I’d also known about female ducks’ corkscrew vaginas. However, I’d never previously seen duck rape in person until yesterday.

Apparently, if four male ducks pursue and gang-rape a female duck while you are just going about your business having a lovely sunny day in a public park, and you proceed to chase said ducks with a stick while screaming “NO MEANS NO!” — people just think you’re insane.

Unfortunately, that also applies to human rape situations, even if you’re the one about to be raped.

However, I hit the fuckers with that stick (without hitting the female), and that was pretty satisfying. I was thinking about the homicidal hens that whole time.

Feel free to discuss instances of misogyny in the animal kingdom. I have more stories, but am on a Greyhound bus right now and have a limited attention span.


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Thrillseeking female. Indie music shaman. Will almost certainly Like your cat pix.
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22 Responses to Dude, fuck ducks.

  1. joy says:

    Fuck evolution. Nobody and nothing needs to reproduce that badly.

    I will never look at ducklings the same way again. Even though ducklings are darling.

  2. ball buster says:

    Holy shit I have never seen this! With the duckies.

    I do know that male dolphins torture and rape female dolphins. Every time I see a plastic dolphin trinket I flick it with my finger.

    I also slap Eminem posters in the middle of the store, people look at me funny but so far nobody has said anything… to my face. 😛

  3. eggb says:

    I am not a duck expert but I used to keep ducks and, based on my observations, not all breeds do this. Or at least not so constantly and violently. I had some that did, some that didn’t. And, around here, the ones that did got the axe. Literally.

    I also had some ev psych idiot tell me ducks proved rape was ‘natural’. Which, dude, they’re ducks. They shit in their drinking water. Unless you’re going to defend me taking a dump in the water cooler at work as similarly ‘natural’, then shut up.

    • joy says:

      Hi, eggb!

      Hahaha! Yes, indeed, I was feeling a lot of evo psych nonsense from the people who were talking about me in front of my face as I chased and whacked male ducks with a stick. “But they’ve evolved like that. It’s how they make more ducks. It’s natural.”

      To which I said, “Fuck that, no means no!” and continued to strike the male ducks.

      I too have seen a lot of hetero duck “couples” acting very companionably towards one another. In fact, until this day in New Orleans, companionship had been the norm.

      I had no way of telling their sex, but not ten minutes later I encountered three large geese who were following one another, grooming one another, honking to one another, and grazing together, with nary a raping going on. They were probably all female.

    • ball buster says:

      Every time an evo-psycho starts talking about how rape is natural, I’m going to talk about how chickens gang up on raping roosters and peck him to death.

      • joy says:

        A dude was shocked when I told that story. “But … did ALL the chickens agree? What if some of them didn’t?!”

    • FAB Libber says:

      I like your style eggb.
      All rapists of any species should get the axe.
      Preferably the neck, but I will settle for any dangling appendage.

    • sellmaeth says:

      Well, if all rapist ducks get the axe, that’s evolution, too. With enough time, it should be possible to breed the raping out of them.

  4. jilla says:

    Can’t remember which ones now, but a type of duck mates in the water. So she’s not only getting raped she’s trying to keep from drowning the whole time. However, nature makes her not only receptive but desirous of … something….she’s in estrus so maybe, little duckies? and nature made some ducks capable of mating with several ducks. The same way, unfortunately. But hey. She gets around!

    • joy says:

      I’m starting to feel a whole lot better about foie gras.

      Except I’m fairly sure the foie gras idiots would only use female ducks, because they’re assholes.

  5. igloo says:

    The Northern Elephant Seals are also rapists (and have harems).
    On the other hand, I remember than the Drosophila Melanogaster knows fairly well that no means no, and can handle rejection. An indication that rapists are worse than fruit flies???

    • joy says:


      Male horses typically learn what “no” means fairly quickly, but that’s because mares hang out in groups to protect each other, and “hooves to the face” either teaches a sonofabastard real quick or … it teaches him real quick and FOR EVER.

  6. jilla says:

    I’m starting to feel a whole lot better about foie gras.


    Well I just love you. LOL

  7. Another WOW moment here at this blog !!

    Yeah it’s not just human males that do this shit !!

    We have chickens here at the ranch where I live/work exchange.
    The males are nasty nasty nasty and gang rape the hens and each other, it’s like prison even when they are free ranging and out of their coops. (the hens can be pretty bad & eat each others babies).

    Female ducks flock in groups to protect each other & their chicks from the older males/mallards.
    When my daughter was little we’d walk long the river where we lived and I showed her how to
    help the female ducks, we threw stones near the males to stop them from attacking the
    females and the chicks.
    She got Karate lessons for sure!!

    • joy says:

      I had a pair of lesbian hens when I was a teenager. I don’t know if they defected from the flock, murdered the rooster, or just got left behind when someone moved, but they were inseparable. When one was killed by a fox (protecting her mate), the other fell into deep despondency and starved herself to death. I miss them both to this day.

      Proof that we don’t need the sonsafuckers*, we can get by on our own if we band together.

      Also, I chased the rapist ducks in the park with a stick, screaming, “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!”, and passers-by thought I was insane. Proof that most people think rape is totes cool.

      * New insult: “sonofafucker.”

  8. liz says:

    sperm needs to be eradicated from the planet like smallpox was. it and its manifestations are a disease

  9. Bev Jo says:

    I agree with that! The California newt males hold the females underwater and rub a secretion on them that drugs them. Male bed bugs actually stab/pierce the female’s abdomen to rape her. Male mammals of many species kill whatever babies they can find, including their own. And of course rape. Males in many species end up killing females they are trying to rape. In zoos, when females they want to breed, refuse, the men tie them so they can’t move and the males can rape them.

    And then there are the ants and bees, who have created almost all female societies, with males appearing only briefly, and only one member reproducing. True Amazon sisterhoods. Different ant species are amazing — they use tools, collect plants to grow gardens, keep domesticated animals, bury their dead, work with trees, like acacia species, who make special homes for them and provide them with little food packages in exchange for protection from animals or plants harming them. There are also many species of animal who do not fuck in any way to reproduce — the females lay eggs, while the males then add genetic material without touching the females.

    It’s so important to counter the myth that all animals get fucked or want to get fucked. It’s also very important to counter the myth that only human males are rapists. When it’s clear that males as a group across species rape, injure and kill females, then it becomes clear that it’s a biological and therefore “normal” part of being male. This is not to excuse it in any male (I believe all rapists should be executed, or better yet, not born), but to say that arguing it’s “socialization,” as feminists have been debating for years, still puts it on females — making it our job to train men better. It does not work, and it will not work. It’s the wrong direction to think or go in. Perhaps some males don’t rape. But clearly most do, and even more want to.

    Choice is involved, of course, but most males choose to rape. And almost none try to prevent others from raping. Men who pretend to be feminists just lecture women.

    When I grew up, the media was much less violent and porn-filled. Most families, schools, religions would have disapproved of one of their boy or men members raping. So blaming the culture is a lie. They still do it. Nothing stops them, which is why we do need to do what many other animal species do, which is live separate from them. And stop reproducing them. That also would do much more to save the earth and other species.

    But that also mean females have to stop worshipping males, obeying them, and putting them before females.

    • liz says:

      it’s so insane! http://writingvagrant.tumblr.com/post/18081911002/today-on-the-bus
      it’s about an episode i had on the bus today where i was ganged up on by a bunch of males. of course, there was one woman there who was simpering and agreeing with these obnoxious brutes. it’s out of fear that they do this. they’re so impressed and intimidated by male brutality that they see no other choice but to completely give in! it’s like they don’t see the next logical step which is, if they give in they’ll be hurt anyway! it’s an enormous black hole that these males have created.

      speaking of which, the male scientific establishment has created a new mythology about how at the center of every universe is a “supermassive” black hole. not that this would be a result of seeing oneself in everything. not at all. now it’s an unrefutable truth, even though all they have to prove this theory is “artist depictions.”

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