In which Menomena talks about [presumably het*] dating.
* I have no idea whether and which members of Menomena are het or not. And I understand that the partnering scene can get pretty hairy for gay and lesbian people as well. But for the interest of this essay, we are going to talk about heteros, more specifically hetero men.
Thanks, guys, for your input! I’m sure you never thought your song would become fodder for a radical feminist blog, but never say never.
Now, I am pretty sure that this song, like this post, is heavily tongue-in-cheek. But, as with this post, that doesn’t make it any less true.
The male libido as a wild, uncontrollable beast. Their sexuality like an unscratchable itch. Het dating rituals as like unto a fight, complete with the baring of teeth. Males understanding themselves as wolves in sheep’s clothing, meaning women ostensibly are the [unsuspecting?] sheep.
Men often seem quite … taken aback when they hear women, especially feminists, discuss them as predatory creatures. But here you have it, in their own words, albeit in a wry way rife with double entendres and alliterations, a great uptempo beat, some pretty sweet guitar work, and unconventional time signatures (I am a sucker for those unconventional time signatures).
Perhaps Justin Harris is as horrified by the dating/bar scene as I am and always was; it seems that may be the case. Good for him, I suppose. But regardless of whether he’s seen this particular wizard behind this particular curtain, he’s probably, by which I mean definitely, not as horrified about it as I was.
Because I will say with almost near certainty that Justin Harris does not have a uterus and vagina, and is/was never worried that he was seated opposite (or beside) someone who might possibly be waiting for the opportune time (eg, for his defenses to go down) so as to cajole, coerce, or openly force him (possibly with the use of drugs or alcohol) into an unwanted sex act that could leave him traumatized, physically injured, and/or pregnant with an unwanted child.
Just clearing that up.
Anyway, though I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir: the het dating world is slimy and fake, it’s no good for anybody, and yes, you should trust the funny feeling in your gut that tells you not to trust that person who’s (drunkenly or not drunkenly) trying to charm you.
Decent dudes will openly admit that. Truly good dudes (if they can be said to exist) will do something about it (ie, eschew het dating). But judging by the number of men I see leering all over women both inside and in front of bars all over New York City, that is too much to ask and it sure ain’t happening any time soon.
And now, because I’m tired of talking about dudes: for women, I have only this to say.